Welcome to today’s Well at Work podcast where we will be talking about managing grief in the workplace through strategies that increase psychological resiliency following loss.
The loss of a client at work creates unique challenges for helping professionals. Employees may wonder how they are supposed to grieve the loss of a client, whether they have the “right” to grieve, or know who and where to turn to for support. Competing demands within an employee’s personal and professional life can also make grieving challenging. Helping professionals may not have considered the intensity of their grief reactions when a client dies, especially if it was unexpected. Research indicates that the feelings of pain, loss, and isolation professionals experience when a client dies can be similar to feelings they experience following a personal loss.
Some employees may feel like they are under increased scrutiny at work after the death of a client, which can contribute to disenfranchised grief. Disenfranchised grief follows a loss that is not or cannot be openly acknowledged, publicly mourned, socially supported, or that is misunderstood. When an employee experiences disenfranchised grief they may have more difficulty emotionally processing and expressing their grief and may not recognize new symptoms or behaviors that are related to grief. For example, when an employee returns to work after a significant loss, they may be able to fulfill their duties yet may experience symptoms like “brain fog” causing their attention and focus to be elsewhere. You can see how this would make completing daily work tasks that were manageable before the loss much more challenging after.
I would like to tell you a story about Sarah, who has worked as a social worker at the Department of Juvenile Justice for ten years. Sarah recently returned to work after taking time off following the unexpected death of an adolescent client she worked with for several years. Upon her return to work, Sarah notices that her social support at home is adequate, however her support network professionally is lacking, particularly at her organization, where she has been feeling isolated in her grief.
Here are some tips that may help Sarah
First, assess and develop your social network. A strong social support network can play a major role in helping employees like Sarah cope with grief, manage stress, and improve emotional regulation and their overall well-being. One strategy Sarah may consider is developing a Social Connections Map where she would write down her most important social connections and relationships such as family, friends, and colleagues, as well as groups or organizations that are supportive. As Sarah completes this social connections activity, she realizes she did not include other sources of professional support outside her organization. Sarah decides to reach out to two former colleagues who also experienced the loss of a client. She develops a goal to ask these colleagues to lunch as talking with them about her grief may provide the support and validation that would help her navigate this unchartered territory. Sarah begins noticing an improvement in her feelings of confidence and competence at work after she meets with these colleagues. She walked away from their lunch feeling heard and validated and knows she has this support network in place to help as needed in the future.
Sarah also notices an intensity in her emotional reactions at work that she has not experienced before. She is increasingly irritable, angry, and not sleeping well, which has negatively impacted her relationships with colleagues and productivity at work.
A second tip for Sarah would be to . This is accomplished through a series of steps that include self-awareness and monitoring, skill utilization, and practice.
Sarah decides that the irritability and anger are the two emotional reactions bothering her the most. She writes down situations that trigger feelings of irritability and anger as well as early warning signs that typically lead to these reactions.
Next, Sarah writes down several emotional regulation skills that were helpful when she experienced work-related anxiety in the past. It’s important to remember resilient employees experience the same initial physiological arousal and negative emotions when faced with a stressor as less resilient employees. However, the difference is resilient employees tend to be able to quickly calm their sympathetic nervous system arousal and stimulate their parasympathetic nervous system to help regulate their emotions. For Sarah, activating her parasympathetic nervous system through breathing and mindfulness exercises was successful in recent years, although ever since the loss of her client she has not been regularly practicing these skills. Sarah decides to set reminders on her calendar and cell phone telling her to stop what she is doing at times during the day and choose one regulation skill to practice for at least five minutes. She does this at the beginning and end of her work day and in between client sessions. Sarah’s regular practice of these emotional regulation skills begins to make it easier for her to manage her grief reactions at work, which gives her a renewed sense of hopefulness. Sarah even decides to try other strategies like going for a brief walk mid-day with a colleague, and getting outdoors after work would benefit her, which unsurprisingly, they do.
Sarah’s journey of coping with her client’s death begins to improve through regular practice of these resiliency-enhancing strategies. We hope the tips highlighted today will support you and your staff should you be faced with a loss in the workplace. Thank you for tuning into this podcast and remember to stay Well at Work!